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track: i’d like to hear your voice
by: mourning dove
lyrics:
once you are lost, you are never found.
though it is always a summer evening,
i cannot live in it
or even think of a human, see myself in the mirror.
i know you went to sleep in the woods, the only place
you feel okay.
if you have gone away once, you have gone away forever.
when i see you at my door,
i know you are someone else again.
we spoke of many beautiful things,
you asked if i had fallen in love and i said that i hadn’t
but i appreciate this time for which we’ve known one other
cannot last longer than the infinite hour
before you are killed
by the whole real being which knocks
as i go to the basement to conjure eternity,
to chase cats and become nothing so soon.
grandfather takes so many videos of us for this reason
now that he is gone, he walks forever.
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track: fire house
by: mourning dove
lyrics: none
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track: i don’t know what to say about those stars
by: mourning dove
lyrics:
to watch the barges sink unholy light
will you turn the radio
we will sit in your parked car for another night
i can still sit behind the stone also
with no thought but no,
to wait for you to pronounce my name in the evening
i will listen in that shadow
to hear you asking where i have gone
where have the dreams taken these dreamers
what is it like for you downriver
i know you have such trouble with your time
and i have such trouble with mine
the sweet village sits through another burning summer and the autumn once gave over
i will not dwell here and i will no longer i watched the stars pass over
in the muddy swamp by the bay and then came back to your room in september
i know when you think of me it will be another empty correspondence
like every word intended to dislodge
i am no longer worn to death
given like the song
as you walk in the nighttime
i was once was a ghost i know
you might see me sometimes
now i am a ghost i know
i walk from a place
but i am no longer
i am for anyone
I don’t know what to say about those stars, the bridge that doesn’t exist, the house that’s not haunted- and the river that you dream so much about. You can't escape to somewhere, but you could at least escape somewhere where your escapism takes on qualities of its own, where your dreams are richer and darker, where you can actually believe in your yearnings for at least a spell for at least a stretch of days when it rains and the sky is a pale grey and the greenery, a rich thick forest here, becomes enchanting or enchanted depending on the nature of your projections. This valley, it’s what lies between two spirits who have passed on, it is a gift from one to the other and back again, like an unsent letter, like the pickup truck crumbling in the back of your childhood home- we’re really going somewhere now, look there are boats docked here in the middle of the field- we’ve crossed over the ghosts that we were before. We are different ghosts now- your ancient immovable spirit is growing, or at least moving around. There’s no need for quiet there's no need to talk. Everything you could’ve said to someone that you love- it has already been said before you’ve met them- you don’t have to worry about it. The river is overflowing at its banks, it’s a harsh brown mud water- all the animals want to drown in it. The animals will rush down to drown themselves in the river for the river is overflowing its banks on this blank day when we’re all anchored in the color green. They will rush down and ride it out. There will be no blood because the blood is sucked under.
The day I cease to think of you might be a beautiful day, or it might not be, but it won’t matter to me
which is the problem. You must be thinking I’m faking but how could I be faking if there’s nothing real, to build this lie out of. What is this thing that keeps the river running- probably something melting, up very high in those mountains- on these rainy days when the clouds come down below the highest peaks then the pieces of the sky fall down on us. It’s whatever you want- I could like you a lot but I have to pretend that it’s for a good reason, that I am doing my best- we’re desperate for purpose which is why we stay in the house all day. I’m going to play this piano but none of the high notes work. You’re going to read a book and convince me that you’re doing something and that opossum outside is going to lie dead on the front doorstep and it’s going to bloat and emanate an odor so intense that we have to close all the windows.
I hope you’re doing well- I say that too much I hope you are walking somewhere under this grey sky as it gathers texture, moisture, in gusts deepening widening until the whole thing goes black. The stars are revealed one by one and that vacant moon which is still luminous, beautiful- buried in an undiminished sky. Love really does go on forever.
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track: never meant to haunt any of you
by: mourning dove
lyrics: none
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track: the inexpressible joy of being alone; a virgin forest reborn
by: mourning dove
lyrics:
cannot believe i am a part of the world right now,
in philadelphia in a heat
to the next city and-
more than that, devotion
requires distant settings
a beauty unknown in my own time
writing it is
to slow and articulate a thought
it might be weeded for you
a someone still better than the spoken
the heat makes us all equal
burqa-clad or businesswoman,
man in wheelchair at street corner
what is happening here-
a beautiful man asked if i might hold his cigarette before disappearing forever
i stole a picture of you
you looked so sweet and holy
my apologies
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track: a wake’s passage
by: mourning dove
lyrics: none
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track: the earth outlives us
by: mourning dove
lyrics:
to think the earth will outlive us
on the hill where the sky opened,
and we saw the infinite constellated darkness
between us, futures never lived like a dream so big
it couldn’t contain itself. it was only a small dream of mine
while i am a small dream of the world.
though the structures here have been taken out,
there remain generators graffitied.
to think not long ago we stood on the porch
and watched strangers shiver.
to lie on that hill-
to see that purple distance, the horizon formed from a gradient
of forest and the mountain is made
of what is more blue.
this earth here has been too many things.
my limitation is that
i only see its immensity when i look back to see your face
looking up at the sky. though i could be that sky.
i could be the black.
a greenhouse has been newly erected
at this site out of poles and white shadows- a lattice, a tarp,
a webbed column for the mind to walk around.
inside, to grow vegetables. to cultivate nothing as could be felt by you or me.
some other thing will be made in the ruin of a thought
or the aftermath of the greatest feeling i’ve known
which is so small, small
enough to contain everything.
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track: i might call this a place again
by: mourning dove & cheer up
lyrics: if time had settled
bluer air in the summer evening
i might- call this a place again
enough to look out at the darker hill,
that is, the one beyond this one
and live like nothing, to be-
at once, inside of the room,
the creature with these illumined eyes
that wrongs all of you,
and outside, the ghost
never meant to haunt any of you.
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released September 3, 2019
