Bright, Unbearable Wound!

by Mourning Dove

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1.
O Wound, 02:12
o wound, i’m sorry i bit my wrist watched the man on fire and on fire on the horse statue soon i will venture there like the lone man, diasporic in the dripping buildings i might also walk with a candle between my fingers talk to children, lost i might also go there, soulless, darkly i might also find nothing there still, conjure you a universal you just something to yearn for make the days less blue
2.
3.
would i pick and give every flower to is this surgery as bitter as imagined which shadows to come and live a nice life in this city tell it to some river the lamps i swear everywhere they speak in, off and on long life as in long life to live if i were never to see you again sure, i'd till soil. do as you must for everyone else but after the cemetery in thunderstorm crying you give me this red leaf to fold in my hand and lose later you give me your disbelief: 'why am i here?' i don’t want to distress you i’ll miss you every hour on the dot i care about you a lot from this far-off land where i walk, thinking i’m the only man.
4.
5.
Hallelujah 09:20
i don’t believe you anymore she don’t know i wish it had gone some other way you cannot even tell me the time of day she forsake me, she forsake her i don’t forsake her though the child is dead i just kill a lake is a body forsaken i’d forsake fear, never love not this sacrifice for nothing kill me in the morn i am sun down
6.
Life Without 01:07
7.
Condolences 04:20
8.
9.
sure, you love alway driving me to the furthest point on the horizon until what does the moon mean when often you pretend to lack what are you, courage to look out for all others, for me i in my also watchtower just looking for you never thinking of my own back except where falls the shadow long evening now trying to do that for you through all these circles you take me in. sure, part ways with me, "do whatever you want". we can sit on those steps, or you can disappear between tree branches over the james, knowing all hearts will be broken go!, for the right reasons, maybe it resonates. you made me a little sad-like i looked up to that third floor light you i had an easy dream of sometimes i see the stars come real close other times, it's a different plane you're such an awful shame i've written another letter i won't send if you just came asking, i might sit with you in the evening i can bear you because you are as unbearable as i here's a relative i have known i will return to that great river though her cousin was where we were raised i am not a romantic, i just want what's best for you i want to go far away from you i want to be the kindest friend look in the desolation was made of the living cast or made into a divine star you won't know me when i give you this gift
10.
Admit 03:41
11.
(the heart) 08:52
the roses, unpicked, growing yes, i long for you there is nothing on my mind, this bright long day, there is nothing in this long day we are all so soon alive: i have this incredible hour to lie in bed with nothing on to one day call the relative gone put on a black harley shirt shorts and no socks, and your too-small sandals. i know what it is in your bright dark eyes that you are unbearably made of as one of my own family your open closed skin the goodbye this kiss implies i am mine alone in this dreaming-of-autumn heat to render the august streets with the carelessness of the people in societal sleep while somewhere still the lakes shallow are so blue in that summer night i see you still before me, as the frogs in their ruckus mind, and that sky we can see every star of: you know though before and after you are like some child you and your light freckles and the small curve eyelids and the white glow beneath skin wide open i do not like this room. always the tempest you, and frayed lace curtains and the city night i will see the distance between us become greater. i can hardly sleep in this bed after you, can i? i can hardly be someone to anyone i think i would not make my own bed leave small tokens about the house live in any real sense i don't have it in me, simply not as you do and is this what keeps you, on the earth? who would i i want to give this space to, here have this i am no blood and i love you i am hardly a dream i had one night ago i am alone in this but i love you i would take you anywhere and take off your shoes until are ready to, to, whatever you are ready you must be powerful more than me and my mountain. this wind that never comes, i am but forgetful. i am thinking only of a few years i feel some terrible light too incendiary for the rain. when we go over there (the graves) i will love you then too.
12.
it was a long walk in the evening, morning i can’t reconcile myself in constant company i did try looking after you all through that midnight blue deep in the maine pools i know your name i have found another sacrifice for nobody after all wouldn’t you take me, call me untrue as i go softly, for you tell me my name when we meet again your beauty few see i won’t tell the city my name or if you really were you could make your own and love freely, in distance or closeness, overcome these bitter and oblong thoughts. i don't mind space but i mind what feels like a mean self protection, this, simply because i know you are not like that. but another bird against the porch window, against the mountain: maybe i am seeing it all wrong i think this is something that's haunted you for awhile on and off. pulling away doesn't change that i’m affected by it- somehow (in this or that river) by so doing you even have made it harder for me to be peacefully alone by transferring this spectre onto me. though i lie here in peace, alone. i feel as though i have lost a member of my family to some awful shame, i've cried about it and despaired through the hours of every day. you know, “i am yours to die”/ maybe now that i have said it i will remember peace because i actually love you and want to be devoted to you in distance and in closeness, devoted in loss.
13.
Anniversary 07:48
14.
Glory 04:12
15.
i want to rise away again the lavender never did conceal you (the city) i want to walk across the storm with some unrelenting gaze indifferent towards death as to dawn quickly i find answers to questions i never wore don't tell me this real is better than every dream i ever had i’ll visit the ashes you never tread by the large open church they took me on that walk once i felt a little sad like some relative i hadn’t had had passed they took me in the bare wood morn through you know the meadow grown but when autumn turned i couldn't anymore that i dream of you, for i am another, bloodless as you are blood, cold and your body always warmer. i feel the false freedom of absence, knowing i was free before but had purpose with you, and no reason without you except kindness which could carry one through and beyond the world. here is some simple language: still earthly, as if in disguise, as if not knowing your long passage, my still oblivion i cannot forget you certainly but where would i put you in this inhospitable, my alien world? we meet between north and south ponds, to build a house and dismantle as traffic on the road; we meet between trains i following this bliss of doing whatever seems well for you, partings and unpartings, in my heart so singular. after the sacrifice of me- all my love- i give you everything. even in ashes, here i am.
16.
O My Love 08:05
o my love, you who are the wisest one, know nothing, take everything, i am no one, for you are my love o my most precious one, o my love
17.
Agony 00:20

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Muteant Sounds (net label) Florida

MuteAnt Sounds (netlabel) is entering our 8TH year of distributing, sharing, posting and releasing the world’s finest experimental, noise, free jazz, no-fi ambient space jazz free form sound ever recorded.

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