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Transsexual

by AG Davis

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1.
No One Gonna Kill Me 01:26
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2.
8 01:05
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3.
terror (terrified) 02:55
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4.
untitled (woman) 04:03
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5.
Huffering 03:00
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6.
anothergrl 01:50
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7.
head 02:51
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8.
hair dress 01:32
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9.
Transexual 03:24
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10.
his love 03:09
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11.
my holes 01:50
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12.
Heaven Gates 03:30
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13.
Il-sodoma 05:04
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14.
(I need pain) 01:53
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15.
La Caca 02:27
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about

so I was 'visited' and told my dad would die (mid-august, 2020), and he did, four days later. I was recording my Black Mental at the time. those vivid dreams where the underpinnings of your nihilism and misanthropy run free and coagulate at the apex of orgasm, the slums of the Black Mirror; my birth in stasis, as if death meant anything at all: the fluidcockintocerebellumarcanapussy, the almost amorphous stream of information seeping into your already fucked REM; yes, this canopies and conceals the devolving hyperstition even further---as if it were the prime-puppeteer with the rusty razor wire cutting into my clipped-winged soul that shat out a man gleaming with his desire for self-non-being::: the autogenetic sadist controlling my movements; and, of course, not in control of its-his own, despite the fact that the gutted abattoir was inconsistent with religion, or, more expressly, A CODE IN THE MEMBRAIN OF DESIRE.
I desire permanence without reflection or doubt
only god is what I desire to be
because without establishing one's omni-omnia
the weather gets stale and people die
thoughts change
only split seconds can be vivified as 'real', but are just as quickly irremediably lost because they are remembered
which at the very least means it didn't happen as you thought it did
or quite possibly
that
it didn't happen at all

and -

even if this were not true

even if the event took place precisely as you remember(ed)
the love in the eyes set across from you
that you perceive vividly and without suspicion
those brilliant eyes
the eyes and 'yes' of your 'lover'
might be a misinterpreted plane
of an absolute stranger's complete and utter bile and enmity
in respect to you
or
they might not be 'there' in any shape or form beyond the mind they may not be 'anywhere',
but between your mentation's distress
the interior horizons of the fractal monad
the vacantly other
the place where the universe is fabricated
the place where you sit
in confabulated motion
but rest always in stasis
as one

credits

released February 9, 2021

a.c. - bass, guitar
ag davis - vocals, keyboards, piano, bass, acoustic guitar, midi programming, drum machine, edit (tape and software)

the favelas of a fluid, polyvocal Black Mirror:

my birth(s) in stasis
-
as if DEATH meant anything at ALL
…\/…
(this canopies and conceals the devolving hyperstition even further---
as if it were the prime-PRIMEVAL-puppeteer with the rusty razor wire cutting into my clipped-winged soul that shat out a man antigleaming with his desire for ? (?(erasure?)):::
this era is by no means 'sure'…..

''I desire permanence without reflection or doubt
only god is what I desire to be
because without establishing one's omni-omnia
the weather gets stale and people die
thoughts change
only split seconds can be
vivified as 'real',
but are just as quickly
lost
because they are remembered
which at the very least
means it didn't happen
as you thought it did
or
quite
possibly

that


it didn't happen at all''




-AG Davis (12-31-20)

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about

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