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mourning dove - i don​’​t know what to say about those stars

from “are you tired” by mourning dove (& cheer up from the unknown sound collective on one track)

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lyrics

track: i don’t know what to say about those stars
by: mourning dove
lyrics:
to watch the barges sink unholy light
will you turn the radio
we will sit in your parked car for another night

i can still sit behind the stone also
with no thought but no,
to wait for you to pronounce my name in the evening
i will listen in that shadow
to hear you asking where i have gone

where have the dreams taken these dreamers
what is it like for you downriver
i know you have such trouble with your time
and i have such trouble with mine

the sweet village sits through another burning summer and the autumn once gave over
i will not dwell here and i will no longer i watched the stars pass over
in the muddy swamp by the bay and then came back to your room in september
i know when you think of me it will be another empty correspondence
like every word intended to dislodge

i am no longer worn to death
given like the song
as you walk in the nighttime
i was once was a ghost i know
you might see me sometimes
now i am a ghost i know
i walk from a place
but i am no longer
i am for anyone

I don’t know what to say about those stars, the bridge that doesn’t exist, the house that’s not haunted- and the river that you dream so much about. You can't escape to somewhere, but you could at least escape somewhere where your escapism takes on qualities of its own, where your dreams are richer and darker, where you can actually believe in your yearnings for at least a spell for at least a stretch of days when it rains and the sky is a pale grey and the greenery, a rich thick forest here, becomes enchanting or enchanted depending on the nature of your projections. This valley, it’s what lies between two spirits who have passed on, it is a gift from one to the other and back again, like an unsent letter, like the pickup truck crumbling in the back of your childhood home- we’re really going somewhere now, look there are boats docked here in the middle of the field- we’ve crossed over the ghosts that we were before. We are different ghosts now- your ancient immovable spirit is growing, or at least moving around. There’s no need for quiet there's no need to talk. Everything you could’ve said to someone that you love- it has already been said before you’ve met them- you don’t have to worry about it. The river is overflowing at its banks, it’s a harsh brown mud water- all the animals want to drown in it. The animals will rush down to drown themselves in the river for the river is overflowing its banks on this blank day when we’re all anchored in the color green. They will rush down and ride it out. There will be no blood because the blood is sucked under.

The day I cease to think of you might be a beautiful day, or it might not be, but it won’t matter to me
which is the problem. You must be thinking I’m faking but how could I be faking if there’s nothing real, to build this lie out of. What is this thing that keeps the river running- probably something melting, up very high in those mountains- on these rainy days when the clouds come down below the highest peaks then the pieces of the sky fall down on us. It’s whatever you want- I could like you a lot but I have to pretend that it’s for a good reason, that I am doing my best- we’re desperate for purpose which is why we stay in the house all day. I’m going to play this piano but none of the high notes work. You’re going to read a book and convince me that you’re doing something and that opossum outside is going to lie dead on the front doorstep and it’s going to bloat and emanate an odor so intense that we have to close all the windows.

I hope you’re doing well- I say that too much I hope you are walking somewhere under this grey sky as it gathers texture, moisture, in gusts deepening widening until the whole thing goes black. The stars are revealed one by one and that vacant moon which is still luminous, beautiful- buried in an undiminished sky. Love really does go on forever.

credits

from “are you tired”, released September 3, 2019

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MuteAnt Sounds (netlabel) is in our 10TH!!!! year of distributing, sharing, posting and releasing the world’s finest experimental, noise, free jazz, no-fi ambient space jazz free form sound ever recorded.

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