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Letting Out: "Leave Me Alone, Forget About Me"

from Bright, Unbearable Wound! by Mourning Dove

/

lyrics

it was a long walk in the evening, morning
i can’t reconcile myself in constant company
i did try looking after you
all through that midnight blue
deep in the maine pools
i know your name
i have found another sacrifice
for nobody after all
wouldn’t you take me, call me untrue
as i go softly, for you
tell me my name when we meet again
your beauty few see
i won’t tell the city my name

or if you really were you could make your own
and love freely, in distance or closeness, overcome these bitter and oblong thoughts.
i don't mind space but i mind

what feels like a mean
self protection, this, simply because
i know you are not like that.

but another bird against the porch window,
against the mountain:
maybe i am seeing it all wrong
i think this is something that's haunted you for awhile on and off.

pulling away doesn't change
that i’m affected by it- somehow
(in this or that river)
by so doing you even have made it harder

for me to be peacefully alone by transferring this spectre onto me.
though i lie here
in peace, alone.

i feel as though i have lost a member of my family to some awful shame, i've cried about it and despaired through the hours of every day.
you know, “i am yours to die”/ maybe now that i have said it i will remember peace
because i actually love you and want to be devoted to you in distance and in closeness,
devoted in loss.

credits

from Bright, Unbearable Wound!, released January 27, 2021

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Muteant Sounds (net label) Florida

MuteAnt Sounds (netlabel) is in our 10TH!!!! year of distributing, sharing, posting and releasing the world’s finest experimental, noise, free jazz, no-fi ambient space jazz free form sound ever recorded.

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