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You Won't Know Me When I Give You This

from Bright, Unbearable Wound! by Mourning Dove

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lyrics

i want to rise away again
the lavender never did conceal you (the city)
i want to walk across the storm
with some unrelenting gaze
indifferent towards death as to dawn
quickly i find answers to questions i never wore
don't tell me this real is better than every dream i ever had
i’ll visit the ashes you never tread
by the large open church
they took me on that walk once
i felt a little sad like some relative i hadn’t had had passed
they took me in the bare wood morn
through you know the meadow grown
but when autumn turned i couldn't anymore

that i dream of you, for i am another,
bloodless as you are blood,
cold and your body always warmer.
i feel the false freedom of absence,
knowing i was free before but had purpose with you,
and no reason without you except kindness
which could carry one through and beyond the world.

here is some simple language: still earthly,
as if in disguise, as if not knowing
your long passage, my still oblivion
i cannot forget you certainly but where would i put you
in this inhospitable, my alien world?
we meet between north and south ponds,
to build a house and dismantle
as traffic on the road; we meet between trains
i following this bliss of doing whatever seems
well for you, partings and unpartings,
in my heart so singular.

after the sacrifice of me-
all my love-
i give you everything. even in ashes,
here i am.

credits

from Bright, Unbearable Wound!, released January 27, 2021

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Muteant Sounds (net label) Florida

MuteAnt Sounds (netlabel) is in our 10TH!!!! year of distributing, sharing, posting and releasing the world’s finest experimental, noise, free jazz, no-fi ambient space jazz free form sound ever recorded.

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